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[Cynderella]

M,

[SevenOaks]

Ich verstehe dich einfach nicht mehr, du bist so unzufrieden! komm zurück zu mir, ich hab dich doch so glücklich gemacht! Werf dein leben doch nicht weg und sei so kurzlebig! Du warst ein ganz anderer als ich dich kennen lernte!

[Cynderella]

M, i

[Pueppi12]

Warum hastdu mich gestern zweimal angerufen??
Wir haben doch alles wegen der Wohnung geklärt, du sagst du hast keine Gefühle mehr für mich, aber warum kannst du mich dann nicht in Ruhe lassen?
Wir sind jetzt seit drei Monaten getrennt ebenso lange hast du eine neue Freundin, warum meldest du dich ständig??
Was willst du noch von mir?
Du weißt das ich keine Freundschaft mit dir möchte, ich kann das so nicht!!!

[Cynderella]

Mein

[Biggjops]

I love you. So, so much. I manage to keep it down most of the time, but right now I am lost and just don't know how to get to you. We can't be friends, I think you know that. You always said, the worst for you is to lose someone... I don't want to lose you either. But in the last few weeks I noticed how the last threads that kept us connected have torn. It's better for me, but it rips my soul apart.

You weren't around today, or the last few days. I wondered where you were, and checked myself carefully: is it just addiction? Am I just thinking about it because you could be doing something better than me? Am I succumbing to silly thoughts?

I decided, and I knew: no. I was worried about you. I realised you could very sick, or in hospital, something bad might have happened to your mum... You could even be dead, and I wouldn't know. Nobody would tell me.

So I wrote to you... And yep, you are on holiday. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a new guy keeping you up at night.

Baby I wish I knew what is really going on inside you... Are you really so cool with me not being in your life? It was never, ever wrong to love you. You are the warmest, funniest and most tender person I know, you are clever, witty and the most beautiful woman on the planet. I have been with a few, not one of them managed to make me feel so incredible with the barest of touches. I can't stand the thought of your big, smiling blue eyes looking at someone else the way you looked at me.

You used to come by my office every day. I would have food around, just for you, because you were always hungry. We had sex in that office. You secretly decorated the whole room and baked an amazing chocolate thingy, with liquid chocolate in the middle. You came in while I was on the phone, you patiently waited next to me while I hurriedly choked that person, and only when I hung up did you break into your tears and flung yourself into my arms. Another time you pressed your whole body into me while on the chair, I never wanted that kiss to end, ever.

Now you don't even look in anymore. You leave work without saying good bye. I can't touch you anymore, I'm scared because a molecule of your skin would set my body on fire.

There is noone in the world that I have ever loved as much as you. I told you that, amongst any other things. You were jealous but never had any reason to be. You are the love of my life, I was waiting for the right moment. You said one day you would get your Tiffany's ring. I quietly thought "I can't wait to see the look on your face". You made me so incredibly happy. Yes, I have always been a happy person, and so have you - but in my 32 years of life have I never felt so fulfilled, at ease, complete.

And that was the problem. I loved you. I wanted a relationship with you. I wanted to marry you. I'm absolutely certain you felt the same way. But you don't feel good about yourself. Making you feel better, making you compliments, caring for you, showing you how important you are to me... it is the wrong thing for you. Your low self esteem does not allow it. For you, it makes me look like I drop to your level, of not being worthy. So you pushed it even further, tested and provoked me, to see how "manly" I could be. You wanted me to be more worthy than you by not giving in to you and at the same time keep control of me by setting traps and putting me down.

I didn't know what to do. I had never been in such a situation. I did what every guy who is in touch with his feelings would do- let them out. I showed you how I felt, right there and then, when I was feeling it. Love, happiness, sadness, anger... All there for you to see. Many would say that is a good thing. I disagree now. I should have been more careful with you. At the same time, a relationship is not possible like that, a constant game of charades.

I know you will become more serene and confident. I know the games will end, and fairly soon, too. I know this because I love you and I know you inside put. At the same time, I am so worried about you. I know you are having a lot of fun at the moment, but what about the next guy you fall in love with? He will end up treating you badly and breaking your heart. Or you will treat him badly and break his heart, like you did mine. The only way out if this situation is a guy like me. Someone, who truly loves you but knows how to handle you. It doesn't have to be me, but there aren't many guys like me out there. You KNOW this is true.

But I will never be able to show you how well I have understood our problem unless you give us another chance. But you can't, either you really have moved away from me too much or you are scared. Scared about what your parents or your friends might think. Scared that it will go wrong again. Scared to miss out on the right guy for you.

Please, baby, remember how much you shook when I kissed you. Remember how good, how right it feels to be with me. Remember how easily things flow between us. Remember how you only stop talking when you look at me and your feelings go so mental that all you can do is stick you tongue out and smile from ear to ear.

And lets have our brand new beginning...

PUH. Doch etwas mehr als ne Sms. Wenn das alles auch nur was bringen würde. Aber ich sitze hier und heul mir einen ab, während sie hardcore feiern geht und mit Sicherheit nicht an mich denkt. Babelicious in fünf Jahren. Das wär's. Schön, wie man sich hier eine kleine Fantasiewelt zurechtspinnen kann. Ich bin dann mal überm Klo.

[Lischen]

Du fehlst mir immer noch so sehr!!!! Ich kann mir garnicht vorstellen das du mich nicht vermisst...

[SevenOaks]

Hey ***
Habe eben an den Song von Hanoi Rocks gedacht - Don't You Ever Leave Me - und wie wir dazu getanzt hatten. Wie gern würde ich diesen Song erneut auflegen wenn wir uns wiedersehen. Mich überkommt so eine Gänsehaut bei dem Song. Und die Bedeutung erst, du hast die Wort mir zu geflüstert und nun bin ich diejenige die Verlassen worden ist. Echt unfair von dir...
Das einzige Geräusch ist das Rauschen der Schallplatte sobald der Song zu ende ist...
Ich liebe dich, so sehr, trotz allem und es tut mir leid das ich dir weh getan hab und das alles sowieso so schief gelaufen ist.

[Cynderella]

M,ar.

[lisbeth]

You DON'T have what it takes to make yourself whole- because you never learned to be alone...